


Sunflower Love

by MedievalEnchanted



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: 1950's, F/F, LGBT, Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:13:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21811378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MedievalEnchanted/pseuds/MedievalEnchanted
Summary: Patsy and Delia are together, Delia's mother finds out and sends her daughter to a conversion therapy camp.Can patsy save the love of her life?
Relationships: Delia Busby/Patsy Mount
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	1. Patsy Mount

The things about Patsy Mount is that she’s strong minded and on occasion she could come of as cold or like she didn’t care, but that was just a cover to protect herself from all that she had been through. You see Patsy had been through far more than anyone in their lifetime should have to bare, and she put up a front, barriers were sky high and it would take a special kind of person to bring them down again. Patsy was so scared of being hurt, especially considering everything she had already been through in her life time.

  
  


Patsy Elizabeth Mount (Born Patience Elizabeth Mount) was born in 1933 in Shanghai, however, she grew up in Singapore until she was only the age of 9, when she and her family were captured and placed in a Japanese prisoner of war camp. Patsy was in the camp alongside her mother Doreen and her sister Victoria, whom both died in the camp from Malnutrition and Typhoid. (One day her personal knowledge would help Patsy with a young women in little old Poplar who has Typhoid, and Patsy’s knowledge of the disease saves the women. Patsy is able to get her diagnosed early and treated quickly.) Patsy’s Father was put in a different camp, and he like Patsy was lucky and he survived.

  
  


After World War Two came to an end, Patsy was sent to England whilst her Father stayed behind in Singapore. She attended a Catholic boarding school, where the teachers were all Catholic Nuns, and she hated them with every fibre of her being. They were cruel, nasty and unkind, and not at all loving or caring in their nature. When Patsy finally left that wretched place, she went on to train as a Nurse and midwife and graduated top of her class.

  
  


Patsy was naturally beautiful, she was tall and she had one of these faces, where it wasn’t just her looks but her soul was everything, so caring, kind and wonderful. She had red hair, she had the most astonishing aqua blue eyes you had seen, and she was of Irish descent on her mother's side which was rather obvious when looking at her. 

  
  


Patsy went on to work as a Staff Nurse on the male surgical ward. It was actually in this job that she met the sweet and beautiful, innocent and believe it or not feisty welsh Delia Busby. Which I suppose, with this, everything changed for the good and for the bad.

  
  


Patsy had known for a long time that she was different. The way she was, it was not only against the law but for a lot of people, they believed it was a sin against God, which of course is absolute bullshit. Patsy wasn’t overly religious, she did however believe in God. Patsy struggled for some years to accept herself and who she was and who she would love, but she realised that any God she would believe in would love her and would make her and everyone just as they should be. Everyone is perfect in God’s image. God doesn’t make mistakes.

  
  


Patsy was absolutely certain her Mother knew, her best friend she grew up with most definitely did know. The one person though, that didn’t know was her 16 year old sister at the time. Victoria or Vicky.

  
  


Doreen Mount, Patsy’s Mother had taken the confirmation of daughters sexuality far better than her father had, even if she had been on her death-bed.

  
  


**_November 1947_**

  
  


_“You don’t hate me then?” The 14 year old redhead asked her mother who was laying sickened in her bed. Patsy was kneeling at the side of her Mother’s bedside holding her hand._

  
  


_“Oh my love, no, no, I could never ever hate you. Never.” Her mother smiled weakly, before Patsy collapsed gently into her mother’s arms._

  
  


_“Father is going to hate me.”_

  
  


_“Patience…” Her mother took a slow breath, her breathing was becoming more shallow with each passing hour. “He will not hate you, I - we live in a time where your perfect self and the way you love just isn’t accepted by society, or by the world yet and I am sorry for that. I am deeply sorry my sweetheart. Promise me something, never be afraid even with the world we live in, never be afraid to find love that is true to you. Never be afraid, because she will be so lucky to have you next to her. True love doesn’t come around often, so if you find it, hold onto it, hold onto her and never let her go.”_

  
  


_Patsy lay in her mother’s arms on and off for the next six hours, before Doreen passed away in her sleep with both her daughters at her bedside. The screams that came from Patsy that day were heart wrenching. Know one could do anything to help, everyone just had to let her get the pain out of her system._

_When Vicky found out about Patsy’s truth, well that was slightly more difficult than was expected. Vicky had found her sisters diary and confronted her about it and about what was written in it._

  
  


_‘Vicky grabbed Patsy dragging her around a corner where the guards wouldn’t be able to see them or hear their conversation._

  
  


_“Patsy, just tell me the truth.” ‘Vicky insisted._

  
  


_“About what?”_

_Vicky held up a small looking notebook, which was anything but as innocent as it seemed, on the inside page wrote ‘Property of P.M’_

_Patsy snatched the book out of her sisters hand “You read my diary?! What the hell Victoria!"_

_“So, it is yours then?”_

_“Well, I mean yes. I’ve literally just said that.” Patsy paused, realising what her sister could have read “Look, wait - you don’t understand I -”_

_“What?! What don’t I understand Patsy!?” Vicky stopped talking for just a moment and then whispered to her sister “That you’re a homo - a queer?!”_

_“Don’t use that word Victoria! … Please.” Patsy took a breath trying not to let her emotions get the better of her “That - that word - it just is, look ‘Victoria, yes, I am that way, that’s how I love and I won’t apologise for it.”_

_“But Pats your life! It will be full of hiding and secrets, do you really want that? I don’t want that for you, you’re my baby sister. I want you to be safe.”_

  
  


_Fourteen year old Patsy angrily pulled away from her Sister "Victoria! I did not choose this, no more than you chose to love Harold. You love boys, I just love differently to you.”_

  
  


* * *

  
  


In the end Victoria accepted Patsy for who she was, she didn’t care that her sister loved women and not men, just just wanted Patsy to be happy. Patsy decided on not telling her father the truth, she never really felt she could or even wanted to unless he was going to meet the woman she would spend the rest of her days with.

  
  


When Patsy first met Delia Busby, Patsy was working on the male surgical ward in the hospital. She didn’t fall head over heels in love and she wasn’t standing in a room and saw Delia on the other side and fireworks happened. It wasn’t like that, in fact to begin with Delia completly irritated Patsy to the ‘nth degree.

  
  


Delia was younger than Patsy, four years, and she had been working at the hospital for as little as six months when Patsy arrived and joined the team. Patsy found herself being bossed about by this young, feisty and even beautiful Nurse.

Yes, beautiful. As much as Delia irritated and wound Patsy up all day long, with telling her how to do certain things in a particular way all of which Patsy already knew how to do, she really couldn’t deny that Delia was on her mind all day and all night. This feeling, and the thinking about Delia constantly was on going for the next three months and beyond, and in the end Patsy was sure Delia was trying to dig under her skin.

  
  


**12th November 1956**

  
  


The day was going to be hard enough as it was for Patsy, she didn’t need Delia coming in and aggravating her or her situation. Patsy decided maybe it was best if she just tried as much as possible to stay out of Delia’s way, that however was far easier said than done, when they worked side by side, day and night together.

  
  


Then things took a bit of a toll on Patsy Mount.

  
  


“Nurse Mount, could y-” Delia came over to patsy, who at this point was scrubbing the floor with all her energy and it stunk of heavy bleach.

“What?! What is it?!” Patsy snapped, gritting her teeth and closing her eyes as she stopped scrubbing the very clean floor, and sitting on her knees.

  
  


“Well, I mean, I was simply going to ask what these notes say for Mr. Beckett? I can’t read them I’m afraid. Now, however, I am very much inclined to ask you what is the matter?”

  
  


“The matter? You can’t mean with me?” Patsy let out a sad laugh at the words. “You surely can not be speaking to me Nurse Busby.”

  
  


“Oh, but I am Nurse Mount.” Delia responded, a firmness laced her voice, showing patsy that she wasn’t backing down and wasn’t going to drop the subject at hand, as much as Patsy wanted to try and run away from it.

  
  


Patsy stood up, putting all the cleaning materials away and then motioned for Delia to follow her, which indeed she did. They walked slowly, and Patsy Subtly took a hold of Delia’s arm pulling her into a side room. Once they were both inside, Patsy shut and locked the door and the two of them sat on the icy cold floor opposite one another. There was silence and then Delia found her voice.

  
  


“Do you hate me?” Delia questioned, not being able to really look at Patsy.

  
  


“Hate you?” Patsy chuckled slightly “Good God De- Nurse Busby. No, absolutely not. I mean you can irritate me beyond belief sometimes but, no. I could never hate you. I-” Patsy took a sharp inhale of breath, and a long pause before she continued speaking. “Delia, I don't know how to say this lightly, so I am just going to come out and say it. I grew up in a Japanese prisoner of war camp, both my mother Doreen and older sister Victoria died in the camp from malnutrition and Typhoid.. Today is the anniversary of my mother’s death and in two weeks time, it will be the anniversary of my sisters death.” Patsy spoke, almost without drawing breath. 

Patsy found herself able to talk to Delia and tell her about everything that had happened in that camp. She trusted Delia. She wasn't sure why, something about her just made her feel like she could speak openly and it would stay between them.

“Oh Patsy..” Delia frowned, wanting to hug the red head, she wasn’t sure if she should, in the end she went and sat beside Patsy and did just that. Pulled her in for a gentle hug.

Patsy wasn’t sure if she wanted to be hugged, but the touch of Delia she felt safe and happy and wanted this forever. To have Delia at her side.

  
  


Over the next few weeks and into months, Patsy and Delia would have weekly sometimes daily chats, getting to know each other more and just being with each other and having a laugh. Patsy couldn’t deny that she was falling hard for a certain Nurse Delia Busby.

  
  


Everything about her was beautiful, her looks, her welsh accent, but it went much much deeper than that. Her soul was gentle and kind and honest and beautiful with a little bit of a welsh flare and fiestyness. Delia had a heart of gold, and would do anything for anybody.

The truth of it all though, was Patsy Mount loved Delia Busby with her whole soul. Patsy was sure this was the kind of love her mother had told her to grab hold of with both hands and hold onto and fight for it.

Patsy was terrified though. It was against the law to love the way she did and how many, many others did. What if in the end Delia didn’t feel the same way or didn’t love women in that same way. There was only one thing for it, she had to keep her feelings hidden and to herself.

  
  


A year went by, Patsy left the hospital and was transferred to St. Cuthberts Hospital.

  
  


**23rd February 1958**

Patsy had found this meeting of other women not so different to herself, that she had started attending a few months back. Patsy managed to finish right on time today, so she decided she would go and see the ladies at the meeting, where they would have tea, coffee, cake and talk and simply make friends. The cafe would be closed off to other members of the public, whilst they were there. They had a password to get through the door, which was ‘We don’t like cake.’

Patsy however would get a surprise when she walked through the doors of the cafe on this cold wintery evening.

The door was answered by one of the other ladies, and Patsy spoke the password, before being welcomed humbly into the cafe by a lady named Hilda Hart. “So ladies we actually have someone new joining us today. Let me introduce to you-” but no introduction was necessary, at least not for Patsy, she would have recognised those beautiful darkened blue eyes anywhere.

“D - Deels?” Patsy stepped back.

“Pats?” Delia smiled seeing the red headed women standing on the other side of the cafe.

Delia and Pats just ran towards each other, and the other women parted watching as the two ladies gravitated towards each other. They both wrapped their arms around each other holding tight. They hadn’t seen each other in nearly 10 months.

“You’re here.” Delia whispered, before the both pulled away.

Patsy held Delia’s face between her palms “Yes. I’m here. Delia I never thought I’d see you again.”

  
  


“Guessing you two know each other.” Hilda chuckled.

  
  


“Really? We’d never of guessed?” A. young lady of about 18 years old, named Valerie Dyer responded, all the women in the room were now sharing a knowing look between them all.

  
  


Patsy managed to croak out her words, still so happily surprised at seeing Delia “Well - umm - Delia and I used to work together in a Hospital. I then left 9 and a half months ago, for reasons I would rather not go into, if you don’t mind.”

  
  


“You escaped that Hospital, and I’ve just handed in my notice there.” Delia smiled, holding tight to Patsy’s hand, she didn’t want to let go again. Not ever. She couldn’t, she wasn’t going to lose contact with her again.

  
  


“You have?” Patsy smiled, before pulling Delia in for a second hug, holding her close and inhaling that beautiful smell she had always loved.

  
  


A few moments went by before Valerie gave a loud cough “Now, would you two like to be alone? Or -”

  
  


Patsy quickly released her gripping hug on Delia and turned on her heels facing Valerie “No,no, we can have our private moments later, right Deels?” Patsy smirked looking back to beautiful brunette who one day she hoped to call her own.

“Absolutely” 

  
  


“Right well now that we’re all here, shall we sit down. Help yourself to tea, coffee, cake, whatever you would like ladies” Hilda spoke loudly as she took a seat in the circle of chairs all set up ready.

  
  


Hilda was a very robust sort of lady, very loud, very confident and incredibly sure of herself. She also had the most amazing head of curls, Hilda was so very kind and genuine. With this unusual lady, what you saw with her was what you got.

  
  


The group of women sat down with their tea and cake and began chatting away. Patsy and Delia both sat beside each other by the window, only thirty minutes into the group when Valerie asked about the elephant in the room.

  
  


“Hilda, what happened to Lacey?”

Hilda put her tea down sadly “I’m afraid her parents found out about her and Florence and they sent her to -”

“No, not St. Joseph's camp for girls?” Valerie gasped.

  
  


“What’s St. Joseph’s?” Delia questioned, let’s face it Delia was new to all this and this was the first time she’d been in a group, amongst ladies like herself.

  
  


“It’s a conversion therapy camp dear.” Hilda responded.

“Conversi -”

“But she’s only 19 years old!” Patsy interjected.

“I know Patsy, but things like this happen all the time. All over Poplar, and around the country. At any age.”

Delia piped in with her own comments “I’m sorry, but conversion therapy? What exactly does that mean?”

“Oh, Deels.” Patsy smiled “In simple terms, it’s a place where they try and convince you being this way is a choice, or sickness and they try and convince and to 'cure you.' It’s not a good place at all, it’s certainly not safe either.”

“Cure you?” Delia frowned “But-”

“It’s fucked up.” Hilda interrupted.

  
  


“I - I don’t understand how love can be, well, how it can be frowned upon. I mean I do because my mother is one of those people but, isn’t love the most important thing there is? Who cares how and with whom we each love?” Delia innocently questioned.

  
  


“Delia, it’s 1958, people, society, the world just won’t accept who we are yet. It’s why we have these groups, so we can have a place once or twice a week where we can feel safe and it’s why places like Gateways club exist.”

  
  


They continued discussing Lacey and conversion therapy and about how to keep themselves safe if they’re in a relationship. Then they went on talking about everything in between. Before any of them even realised it had been three hours.

“Oh goodness look at the time, it’s half past five. I am sorry Ladies but I have to go.” Valerie spoke quickly “See you all Saturday!” Valerie quickly washed up her cup and plate, and left the cafe.

Soon enough everyone was leaving the cafe, and Hilda passed the keys to Patsy to lock up for the night.

“Well then there were two.” Patsy laughed.

“Indeed…” Delia paused “Where are you working now?”

“St. Cuthbert's, ICU. I like it but it’s not the nursing I want to be doing.”

  
  


“I - I start there on Wednesday. On ICU too.” Delia shook her head in disbelief at the fact they were both now working in the same Hospital again. “Wait does this mean you’ll be my boss?”

Patsy smirked “Yeah, yeah I think it might.”

Patsy locked up and she walked Delia back to the Nurses home, it was dark and she wanted to make sure Delia arrived home safely. 

“Thank you.”

“It’s no trouble.” Patsy smiled, looking at Delia as they both stood there in silence, clearly there was something between them, a desire of sorts, but neither of them were yet brave enough to say anything on the subject.

“Are you around tomorrow?” Delia asked.

“Actually yes, I am. Coffee? Well Tea?”

“Perfect.” Delia smiled, before walking into the Nurses home and leaving Patsy standing there in the dark alone. 

Patsy walked along the riverside, back to her own Nurses home, all she could think about was that beautiful smile that Delia left with and the feel of her arms around her body and that beautiful smell that lingered wherever Delia would go. 

The next day Delia and Patsy went from that Tea and cake and they kept on going for tea and cake at least twice a week and the next thing they knew nine months had gone by.

  
**November 1958**

“Ice-skating? You’re not serious?” Patsy frowned.

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Delia. I’m like a flamingo on skates.”

“Elegant?”

“Nice try.” Patsy smirked “I’ll be a disaster.”

“Lucky for you, I can actually skate, so you can just hold onto me. Oh and I was able to rent out the ice rink, so it will be just us two.” Delia smiled, as they were walking up the cobbled streets of poplar, before arriving at a small stone building.

“Here?”

“Yes, here. C’mon” Delia insisted excitedly, pulling the redhead in through the wooden doors.

They both put on the skates with ease and Delia went onto the ice first so she could help Patsy if she needed it. She held out her hands and Patsy took a rather tight hold of Delia’s palms, as she managed to skate onto the ice holding tight.

  
  


“Don’t let go!” Patsy squealed.

“I’m not. I’m right here Pats, c’mon, you can do this…” Delia smiled, pulling Patsy gently along the ice “You see?”

Patsy and Delia were having the time of their life, Patsy was holding on and managing to skate round without falling on her bum every two seconds. Within half an hour Patsy was skating around the ice rink, without any help. Although she got a little cocky and thought she was able to go faster than she really could and she sped out into the middle and fell flat on her face and just giggled like a hyena.

  
  


“Pats!” Delia came skating over and stopping quickly “Pats? You okay?”

“I’m fine.. I’m fine!” Patsy chuckled as Delia helped Patsy to sit up on her bum.

Delia knelt down looking at the red head, and there was silence in the cold icy air, all you could hear was Patsy’s heavy breathing. There was silence, both looking longingly into each others eyes not saying a single word. like a moment frozen in time.

“I’m in love with you.” Patsy blurted out as she tilted her head to look at Delia.

  
  


Delia chuckled, she didn’t say a thing, and Patsy just watched for any kind of response from the woman in front of her. 

“Delia…” Patsy grabbed her arm gently “Deels? Did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah...Yes I did.” Delia paused as she helped Patsy to her feet “Are you sure?”

  
  


“Am I sure that I’m in love with you?” Patsy giggled “Yes Delia. I’m sure.”

“Well, Patience Elizabeth Mount, thank goodness for that. I thought my feelings were all just one sided-”

“You feel the same way?” Patsy questioned.

“Yes!”

Patsy looked over at the man sitting at the side, he was there in case of any serious accidents, and so all Patsy and Delia could do was look lovingly into eachothers eyes and then carry on skating for a little while longer.

As Patsy and Delia walked back to the Nurses home,there was a lightness to the air, everything just felt different. “How long?” Delia asked, as the stopped outside her digs.

“How long what?”

“How long have you felt this way?”

“Since.. Well since our first closet conversation, quite apt really. The day I told you about my childhood.”

“For that long? Why didn’t you inform me sooner?” Delia questioned.

“I didn’t think you’d feel the same.”

“Well I do.” Delia said, squeezing at her girlfriend’s hand.

  
  


By the middle of 1959 Patsy and Delia were as strong as anything as a couple, they both attended the meetings with Hilda and Valerie, together or individually depending on work schedules. 

Patsy had decided to go ahead with her midwifery, which meant moving to Nonnatus House, this was a hug and nerve-racking step especially with theft it was ran by Nuns, but Patsy soon found out they were absolutely lovely and the red head soon came to really enjoy what she did and realised this was what she wanted to do.

Delia began to help Patsy with the cubs each week, they both has such a laugh doing this together.

“You’re amazing with them, you know?” Patsy smiled, as they walked back to Nonnatus with their fish and chips.

“Not as amazing as you!” Delia paused “Pats, my mother is coming to see me Monday, will you come for lunch with us?”

“You really want me to?”

“Yes. I do. Please Patsy, I can’t cope with her without you.”

Patsy chuckled “If I could, I would have my arm around you right now.”

“I know...as would I.”

“Okay I’ll do it, for you, I will come to lunch with you and your mother.”

  
\-- 

Monday came around rather quickly, and Patsy came over to see Delia before they went for lunch, they stayed in Delia’s room for the morning. 

“What if she hates me Deels?” Patsy asked laying her head on Delia’s chest as they lay on her bed.

Delia ran her fingers through the beautiful red hair “She hates everyone, but hate you? Not possible.”

Patsy wasn’t convinced but she knew this was important to Delia, so she made sure to try not to get too worked up about it. Soon enough they both got dressed and Delia turned to look at Patsy and her eyes must have popped out.

“You look beautiful.”

“As do you my dear…”

Patsy wasn’t able to finish her sentence, as in the next moment, Delia had Patsy pinned against the wall with her mouth firmly on Patsy’s that was until her mother barged in without even knocking.

“What - is this?! Delia! No! No this isn’t happening.”

“Mam, please…calm down, it’s perfectly oka-”

“Okay?! No, this, this is an abomination. How could you do this Delia? I will be sending you to St. Joseph’s”

“You’ll be doing no such thing! I don’t care that you’re her mother there is nothing wrong with Delia.” Patsy spoke up.

“Yes there is and you should be sent somewhere like it to. If it wasn't for you my daughter would be normal!”

Delia’s mother walked from the room leaving Delia and Patsy alone once more, and Delia just broke down into Patsy’s comforting arms.


	2. Delia Busby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delia's POV for the most part, who was she and why did she come to London?

Delia Busby was always unsure of herself, maybe it was to do with the fact that her mother was so smothering, so controlling and her father never seemed to do anything about it. He had always told Delia that because she was such a surprise when she came along, her mother hadn’t even known she was pregnant until she went into labour and that both her and her mother almost died when she was born, that was why Delia’s mother was so smothering and controlling. Although he called it protective.

Delia was sure she’d never leave Wales on account of her Mother, she loved her mother, of course she did. However she also knew that her mother would never understand or approve of who she was and she would probably be sickened if she ever found out the truth about who her daughter was.

Delia was born in 1937, in Pembrokeshire, Wales. Delia had one older sister named Gwenevire, who was eleven years old when Delia was born. Unlike the relationship between Delia and her mother, the relationship with her sister was so much better. 

The relationship with your mother is always going to be different to the one with your sibling. Delia could talk to Gwen about anything and everything, except when it came to it, one of the most important parts of herself. Delia knew she wanted to tell Gwen but she also knew in her heart of hearts that Gwen would be okay, of sorts with the news.

When Delia was just 17 year old she moved to the east end of London, (Much to this distaste and disapproval of her Mother) moving in with her Auntie Blod, Delia had known some of the best Nursing schools were in London and if she lived there, it would make it that much easier for her to get to the school once she was accepted.

Two years later, after moving to London Delia passed her nursing exams with flying colours and she decided she wouldn’t stay with her Auntie Blod any longer but she would move into the Nurses Home. Her Aunt did remind her that her Mother would not be at all happy about that situation. Delia however didn’t care. She was 19 now and she wanted her independence, which she hadn’t been given a chance to gain living with her Aunt but that independence and freedom was something Delia desperately needed in her life and something she had never had before.

  
  


Only 4 months later and Delia had begun working in her first hospital, she’d gained a lot of experience in that time and she loved it but she wasn’t a hundred percent sure it was something she wanted to do for the rest of her life, it was male surgical after all.

  
  


Only a month later, her mother and her sister came to visit and they went for lunch at a rather beautiful restaurant that of course her mother had paid for because “Your job cariad is not a wealthy job” 

  
  


Delia always became anxious and overwhelmed when her mother came to visit, but at least this time her sister would be there too. Delia made sure to be at the restaurant early, as soon as she sat down she ordered some tea, to help calm her. The tea arrived and so did they.

  
  


“Hello Mam, how are you?” Delia smiled, standing up and giving her mother a hug, she loved her mother there was no denying it, but her mother was so set in her ways she knew she couldn’t change her opinions on most things.

“I’m very well, thank you cariad.” and she pulled away from the hug sitting down.

Delia squealed seeing her sister and Gwen squealed in return both of them squeezing the life out of one another “I’ve missed you.” Delia spoke quietly as their mother then motioned for them to stop making a scene and to sit down, which they both did at once.

  
  


Mrs. Busby ordered some food for all 3 and then it began.

“I really wish you would come back home cariad-”

“I’ve told you this is where I want to be and if I decide to go onto a nursing specialty-”

“Speciality? Like what?” Mrs. Busby questioned

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

Gwen chimed in at this point “Delia? Are you planning to go into a particular part of nursing?” Gwen said with a smile, for she, unlike their mother, was excited for her little sister to be taking on the world.

“Yes. if you must know I - well I want to go into midwifery eventually but for now-”

“Midwifery? No. I don’t think so.” Mrs. Busby replied as she poured out her tea.

“No? I mean Mam it’s not exactly your choice what I do.”

Mrs. Busy looked like she would have a fit but all she said was “Just don’t disappoint your father.”

“I - as I was saying in the meantime I just want to gain experience in the hospital. I don’t have to make up my mind just yet.”

The lunch went on and on like this until Delia made her excuses and was able to leave, she was followed closely behind by her sister.

“Delia, wait up!” Gwen shouted before they both ended up facing each other “ Don’t listen to her, just. Oh come here.” Gwen held her sister in her arms “I love you little sis and I am so proud of you.”

“Gwen I have to tell you something…” Delia whispered, she knew that it was now or never, she’s not sure to this day what possessed her to tell her but she just knew she had to.

“What is it? Gwen frowned, pulling away and seeing the fear in Delia’s eyes “You know you can tell me anything?”

Delia looked at the cobbled stones beneath her feet before looking back up at her sister “I - I like girls.”

“Yes, don’t we all.” Gwen chuckled

“I mean it, I like them in the same way you like… Edward.”

“As in my husband Edward… but Delia…” Gwen took a breath, she didn’t care that her sister was gay, she just cared that she wouldn’t get hurt “Delia, you can’t tell her, you can’t tell our mother ever she’ll have you carted off to some insane asylum. Promise me!”

“I - I - I promise.”

Gwen pulled her sister in for another hug “I love you and I accept you little sister, be safe and write to me.” Gwen said as she released her sister from the hug and walked off. Little did Delia know she would only see her sister three more times because 9 months later her sister dies giving birth to her only surviving daughter, and this is what makes Delia go down the road of becoming a midwife in the end.

  
  


“Goodbye Mam.” Delia smiled as she watched her mother approach and gave her a hug.

“Goodbye Cariad… I am staying with your Auntie Blod for a few days. Visit me and your Aunt...please.” Mrs. Busby told her daughter. It wasn’t a question nor was it something Delia was willing to argue against.

  
  


Delia made sure to go and see her mother and Aunt the next day. It was the same as always, those two telling Delia what she and shouldn’t be doing with her life. 

“I’m nearly 20 years old! It’s my life!”

“Delia. That is no way to speak to your Mother.” Her Auntie Blod sighed.

“I -” Delia took a breath “Mam I love you and I’m sorry, but this is what I want to do. It gives me purpose. I have worked my arse off to get here, please understand and accept that.” Delia shook her head, as she stood up and hugged both of them “I have to go but do pop back and see me sometime, I’ll write to you, both of you. I promise.”

  
  
  
  


2 months later was when she first met Patience Mount. Delia had been told to mentor Patsy to help her settle into the Hospital.

  
  


Delia saw this woman walk in and her legs went weak, and Delia felt this almost uncontrollable urge to jump onto the red head and press her lips onto Patsy’s.

“Keep it together Deels. Keep. It. To-fucking-gether.” Delia whispered through gritted teeth to herself, as Patsy approached her.

“Nurse Busby?”

“Yes, that’s me.” Delia smiled holding out her hand and the redhead shook her hand in response.

Delia kept it together and she didn’t realise she could feel this was about anyone ever and yet here she was falling hard. I mean this was someone she was mentoring and all she felt was love, soul changing and consuming love.

The weeks and even months went by and Patsy was snappy with Delia. All the time. The young Welsh girl thought maybe it was something she had said or done, so she tried changing the way she asked things and when nothing had changed 3 months down the line she decided to ask Patsy about it. They could not work comfortably side by side with Patsy snapping at her everytime she asked her a question.

  
  


When Delia eventually questioned Patsy on why she was so snappy, Patsy pulled her into a side room and told her about her growing up in a prisoner of war camp, and Delia couldn’t deny that she had expected some sort of darkened past but nothing could have prepared her for this.

Patsy went into every detail she could, Delia was probably the first person since coming to England that Patsy had told in full length and detail and was most likely a great weight of her young, strong but fragile shoulders.

Over the next few weeks and months they both became much closer, as friends and something more but at the time neither one could admit how they really felt. Delia had fallen in love, that much was obvious but she was scared Patsy didn’t feel the same. I mean she didn’t want to embarrass herself by telling Patsy how she felt if Patsy wasn’t going to reciprocate.

  
  
  


Delia tried so many times to tell Patsy how she felt but it always was interrupted by something, by work, but friends, by letters from mothers or fathers, in the end Delia just thought it would be easier to give up entirely and so she did.

  
  
  


Delia and Patsy had become fast friends, and maybe even loved each other but neither one would speak of that. Delia felt that other than her sister, Patsy was the only other person she could rely on completely and the only other person who she cared for, completely. 

Delia had gone to see her sister twice, in the last few months after she had been told that Gwen was in the family way, and this time she needed Patsy to come with her, for her mother would be there this time and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to hold her tongue.

Delia saw Patsy as soon as she walked into the hospital that morning, and she ran after quickly speeding up her steps she grabbed Patsy by her arm “Patsy!”

“Hello Deels, everything okay?” Patsy frowned as she turned around to look at her friend “What’s the matter?”

“I need to ask a favour, my sister Gwen is due to give birth in less than 3 weeks and I promised I’d go and see her for the weekend. Will you come with me?”

“Come with you? To meet your sister? Are you sure you want me to?” Patsy asked with intrigue. 

“Yes, I need you to come with me please!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll come with you, just breathe.” Patsy smiled

Delia sighed with relief and for the rest of her shift she could relax, they left the next morning, they met at the train station with their two bags and jumped on the train down to where her sister lived.

  
  


Soon enough the train pulled into the station and Delia’s brother in law was there waiting.

“Hi Edward.” Delia smiled as soon as both of them met him standing before him.

“Hi Delia, and who's this?” Edward asked, looking towards Patsy.

“This is my best friend, Patsy Mount, she works with me at the hospital. I asked to come, I did write Gwen to tell her -”

“Ahh - Patsy, lovely to meet you. Delia your mother will be over later.”

“Great.. Can’t wait for that little unfortunate incident to happen.”

“Come on let's get you back to ours so you can see Gwen.”

They quickly drove back to Edward and Gwens home, and met a very heavily pregnant Gwen.

“Oh my goodness, you must be Patsy! Delia has told me all about you, she writes about you in every letter that-”

“Gwen!” Delia frustratingly gritted through her teeth. 

“Apologies.”

For the next few hours, they all took their time getting to know Patsy and finding out how Delia was and what her plans were without their mother in the room to interrogate or put her off. 

Delia informed her sister that she wanted to go into midwifery, but she didn’t want to disappoint their mother.

Gwen took a hold of her sister's hand “My dear, this is not our mother’s life, or father's or mine, or Edwards or even Patsy’s this is your life. Don’t let anyone tell you not to go after your dream. You’ll regret the chances you didn’t take.”

Delia smiled, she knew her sister was right and she needed her sister, she would not have survived the years without her and that’s the truth of it. As soon as her mother arrived later that day she immediately started on Delia and then onto Gwen before Gwen stood up.

“STOP! Just - just stop please… I implore you to stop. Stop telling me what to do or what not to do and stop attempting to drag Delia back to Wales. She is her own person, and will be Godmother to my baby!”

“Delia? Not me?”

“No, not you bec-” But she couldn’t finish her sentence because suddenly Gwen’s waters broke.

Delia mother snapped to Delia “Come on, your a midwife do something!”

“Wow. Just wow, so now you’re perfectly happy with me being a midwife. Mam I’m not a midwife yet, and Gwen's waters have broken she’s not fully dilated. Now go and call the midwife. Gwen have you had contractions?”

  
  


“Well, only a bit… yeah maybe every 6 minutes.”

“Gwen! You should have said something. - Now Mam! Call the midwife and tell her the waters are broken and contractions are every 6 minutes.”

“Pats, help me get my sister up to her bed.” Delia helped her sister to her feet with Patsy’s help and helped to get her upstairs.

“Delia, you really don’t need to fuss.”

“Gwen, you have been in labour and not said anything, your waters have broken, now hold onto Patsy while I go and get some towels and newspaper.” Delia smiled as she left the room.

“I know you love my sister.” Gwen smiled, clinging to Patsy’s arm. 

“I- uhh - I -”

“And she loves you my dear girl. Please be honest with each other - and tell her - ARGHH!” Gwen screamed as another contraction hit with more force. 

Delia came running back “It’s okay! I’m here, I’m here!” Delia quickly sorted out the bed, and helped Patsy get her sister on the bed, and soon enough the midwife arrived, allowing only Delia to stay in the room.

Patsy sat outside the door keeping Edward company, and she knew those sounds she’d heard those sounds before, when she had to cover a shift up in the antenatal ward. It wasn’t good. 

“Arggghhhhh!” Gwen screamed and she screamed and she screamed until she pushed out a baby girl, a healthy baby girl, however healthy could not be said the same for gwen. The midwife called in a doctor and within half an hour of him arriving he pronounced Gwen Dead.

“No…! Nooooo!” Delia just screamed into her sister's blood stained body. “Gwen!”

Patsy now had to do the worst thing possible, she had to pull Delia away from her sister. They stayed the night and went home the next day.

Delia stayed with Patsy when they got back to Poplar, Delia dropped her bag as she stepped in through the door. 

“How am I to go on Pats?” Delia whispered as she kept her eyes open and a single tear fell down her cheek.

“Come on…” Patsy held her hand and took her up to the bathroom, she filled up the bath with some warm water, and helped Delia out of clothes. Delia was numb. She didn’t want to feel and Patsy would help her get through this in the best way she could.

Patsy helped Delia to climb into the bath and she began to gently wash her body and then her hair. After Delia just sat in the bath, cold and water dripping down her body. She stayed like that until Patsy convinced her to climb out, and put her to bed. Patsy stayed with her, held her until she fell asleep. She did this for another 6 weeks until Delia at least could stand again, didn’t feel so numb and was able to get through a shift at work.

  
  
  


3 months after Delia’s sister had passed, Patsy left the hospital, transferring over to St. Cuthberts.

  
  


**23rd February 1958**

  
  


Delia was absolutely heartbroken when Patsy left, she knew if only she had told her how she felt then maybe, just maybe Patsy wouldn’t have left. In Delia’s heart of hearts she knew she had fallen in love, she wasn’t sure how to put it into words or how to explain it, but she knew how she felt.

  
  


A few months after Patsy had left Delia had some time off and she went and met up with her friend Eliza. Delia told Eliza about Patsy and about how she felt about her too. Eliza was a good friend and she had known Delia since she was born, their family’s knew each other, they grew up together. Eliza moved to London with her family when she was 15. 

  
  


Eliza was a really understanding friend, and she told Delia about this meeting that goes on in Poplar, a meeting she was sure Delia should attend.

“It’s a good meeting. I haven’t gone in a while because of my hours but you should try it, it’s a group for women, like us... There is a password to be let in, which is ‘We don’t like cake’ and you just sit, have tea or coffee or whatever drink you want and cake and just have a chat about anything and everything really.”

  
  


“So I can just go along and that’s it? I don’t have to declare my name or anything?”

“Not if you don’t want to. It’s your choice Delia. I hope you do decide to go to the meeting in the end, I found it helped me, in ways you can’t really know unless you go. Be brave and be you. Talk to people like you, like me.”

Eliza gave Delia the details of the meeting, where and when it was held. 

  
  


Delia sat on the idea of going to the meeting for a good few weeks, before making a final decision. She decided that she should go and if she didn’t like it then she didn’t have to go again.

  
  


It had been about 3 months since Patsy had left, and Delia was still trying to stay afloat, with losing her sister not long ago and her mother being worse than she usually was, it wasn’t good. This meeting could bring her out of her shell.

Delia arrived at the meeting with about 10 minutes to spare, she walked into the cafe and said the password when she was asked for it. Delia got herself a cup of tea and some carrot cake, and sat down with all the others.

  
  


The meeting hadn’t quite started when the door opened and Delia looked up with everyone seeing who it was. However unlike everyone else her heart just stopped.

It was Patsy. 

Her Patsy.

She was here. Actually, really here. 

After that Delia just remembers Patsy saying her name and then, Delia found herself jumping up from her seat and running to Patsy and wrapping herself around her and holding tight, she couldn’t let go. If she did, she might never see her again, she couldn’t and wouldn’t let that happen.

Oh, and that smell, that beautiful Patsy Mount smell. It just made her more of who she was.

They both forgot other people were in the room until Hilda echoed in “Guessing you two know each other?”

“Really? We’d never have guessed?” A. young lady of about 18 years old, named Valerie Dyer responded, all the women in the room were now sharing a knowing look between them all .

  
  


After the little sarcastic comment from Valerie and Hilda, and Patsy explained how they knew one another, Delia quite quickly mentioned that she had given her notice in at the hospital and was moving closer into Poplar. The group of women then all sat down and began their talk.

  
  


The group talked and talked and ate cake and drank Tea. Delia was so happy she made the decision to come to the meeting, she never thought she’d see Patsy again and here she was just like before. Patsy helped her through the worst time in her life. 

The next day as Patsy had promised Delia they met up for tea and cake just the two of them. They sat at a table nearest to the window, in silence for the first 5 minutes.

  
  


“Why did you leave Patsy? I needed you and you left.”

“I’m sorry Delia, I had to get away from him...from…”

“From Mr. Joseph?”

Patsy nodded “I wanted to stay but I also needed to go and not just because of him but because I had aspirations to move on from male surgical and staying at that hospital it wasn’t going to happen.”

  
  


Delia simply smiled, she couldn’t believe it, her Patsy was back and even though she left when she needed her most, Delia now understood why that was a must, but there was one thing she didn’t understand.

“Patsy, you didn’t even write to me, why not?”

“I was - it was easier not to.”

“Why?”

“Because - Delia you were - are my best friend, I knew I’d hurt you and I couldn't face you not even in writing.” 

  
  


Soon enough nine months went by in a blink of an eye, and Patsy and Delia were inseparable.

  
  


**November 1958**

  
  


Delia has spent the last few weeks thinking up the perfect date for herself and Patsy and this would be the date she would try and tell Patsy her true feelings, how she had gone the last nine months without saying a word was beyond her, but somehow she had managed just that.

  
  


Delia decided on ice skating, she knew someone she could rent the ice skating rink from so it would be just the two of them and honestly, the date could not have gone better. Not only did they have a laugh the whole time and the both of them revealed their true feelings.

  
  


**July 1959**

  
  


By the middle of 1959 Patsy had decided to go on with her midwifery and so this meant for her to move into Nonnatus House, Delia had now been working at the new hospital for almost a year, that time had gone so quickly. They both continued attending their women’s meeting and Delia began to help Patsy out at the cubs.

  
  


“You’re amazing with them, you know?” Patsy smiled, as they walked back to Nonnatus with their fish, chips and mushy peas.

“Not as amazing as you!” Delia paused, not sure how to ask Patsy what she needed to“Pats, my mother is coming to see me Monday, will you come for lunch with us?”

Patsy frowned, she knew what Delia’s mother was like, she wasn’t sure but she loved Delia “You really want me to?”

“Yes. I do. Please Patsy, I can’t cope with her without you.”

Patsy chuckled “If I could, I would have my arm around you right now.”

“I know...as would I.”

“Okay I’ll do it, for you, I will come to lunch with you and your mother.”

  
  
  


Monday came around rather quickly, Delia was pacing up and down her room in the nurses home waiting for Patsy to join, she didn’t want to see her mother, but she knew she didn’t have a choice and at least Patsy would be there, who would no doubtidly be more nervous than she.

  
  


Patsy rushed round to Delia’s that late morning before they would go out for Lunch with mrs. Busby.

“What if she hates me Deels?” Patsy asked, as she lay her head on Delia’s chest laying on the bed.

Delia ran her fingers through the beautiful red hair “She hates everyone, but hate... you? Not possible.”

Patsy wasn’t convinced but she knew this was important to Delia, so she made sure to try not to get too worked up about it. Soon enough they both got dressed and Delia turned to look at Patsy and her eyes must have popped out.

“You look beautiful.”

“As do you my dear…”

Patsy wasn’t able to finish her sentence, as within the next moment, Delia had Patsy pinned against the wall with her mouth firmly on Patsy’s lips when suddenly the door swung open. It was Delia’s mother.

Patsy quickly pushed Delia away looking up to Delia’s mother “Uhhh, Mrs. Busby, I pressume?”

“What - is this?! Delia! No-you-.”

“Mam, please…calm down, it’s perfectly oka-”

“Okay?! No, this, this is an abomination. You ungrateful cow! How could you do this to me Delia? I have script and saved so you would be - NORMAL! I will be sending you away.”

“You’ll be doing no such thing! I don’t care that you’re her mother there is nothing wrong with Delia.” Patsy spoke up suddenly “You should be proud of who she wants to be, not shame her for who she is!”

“Yes there is and you should be sent somewhere locked away too. If it wasn't for you my daughter would be normal and maybe even married to a man!”

Delia’s mother walked from the room leaving Delia and Patsy alone once more, and Delia just broke down into Patsy’s comforting arms.

  
  


“Patsy what am I going to do? Oh god! Oh god!” Delia clawed at Patsy, with frustration. “My sister always said she would put me away somewhere if she found out.”

“Delia! Delia calm down. Calm down. She won’t take you. She won’t, I only just found you again, you won’t be taken from me I promise you that and if she does I will hunt her down until I get you back. That is a promise I make to you my love.”


	3. Unknowing Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy needs to find Delia, Valerie and Sister Julienne attempt to help her. But what happens when Patsy finds Mrs. Busby and demands to know where Delia is? Will she tell her the truth or will it all end in tears?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedication of this chapter goes to the CTM Unite gap chat!
> 
> Thank you to Maddie for helping with the name for Mrs. Busy, even if I did go for one you didn't give me!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Don't forget to leave Kudos and please comment!

**October 24th 1960**

“After all this time Pats? Why did you never give up on me?” 

“I learned a long time ago, that when you find something or someone that’s worth fighting for you never give up.” Patsy smiled as she poured out the tea for her and Delia. Finally she had her back, she got her out of the wretched place that Mrs. Busby had put her daughter.

One year and three months to the day since patsy found out that Mrs. Busby had placed her daughter in St. Joseph's camp for girls. A Christian Camp. That’s what it was called, using God to hide behind what it really was. A conversion therapy camp.

“Are you okay Delia?”

“Okay? I don’t think I’ll ever be okay, but now I’m back in your arms I will be.”

Patsy smiled softly, “What did they do to you in there?” Patsy in her mind needed to know, so she could tell the truth of what happens in those places to the one person who it should matter to. Delia’s mother.

“You really want to know?”

“I do.”

“Well...It will be easier for me to show you…” Delia slowly with a wince stood up, pulling her top off and pulling off her slacks. She was standing in just her bra and knickers, but the gasp from Patsy said it all.

  
  


“Delia...What did they do to you my love?” Patsy quickly jumped up but fell to her knees before Delia, running her fingers delicately over every bruise, every cut, every graze and every burn.

“I fought back. They didn’t take kindly to that. I knew you were coming Patsy but I also had to fight until you did.”

“Oh Deels…” Patsy suddenly saw the red marks and the bruises and cuts high up on the inside of her girlfriends thighs. “Delia? Come sit down.” Patsy stood up, leading Delia back to the sofa and sitting her down, before quickly finding a blanket to cover her up.

  
  


Patsy went and got some warm water in a bowl and a flannel, coming back and setting it on the table as she sat next to Delia on the sofa.

“If you want to know you need to ask Pats, I can’t say it unless you ask me.”

Patsy placed her hand on Delia’s knee, which only made Delia flinch, and answered the big question Patsy had but she still needed to ask. “Delia…Delia look at me.” Patsy held Delia’s face in her hands, as she kissed her forehead for a lengthened amount of time.

“Delia were you raped?”

Delia looked up at Patsy, looking numb behind her eyes “They said to stop me being who I am, that I had to have sex with a man, it was the only way to cure me of this.”

Patsy wanted to cry, Delia’s own mother locked her away in a place of torment and torture.

“But Patsy I fought back, I fought so much until…”

“Until what Deels?”

“Until he got 2 of the other men to hold me down, hold me still while he did what…” Delia gulped, still trying not to think about what had happened but trying to explain it to Patsy “...he did. I just remember the world going silent, and I was still, I couldn’ move or breath and all I wanted was you.”

“Delia will you let me clean those bruises and cuts?”

  
  


Delia simply nodded, she knew Patsy wouldn’t want to ask anymore and Delia herself wouldn’t dare be able to bring herself to talk about what was done to her anymore.

Patsy pushed the flannel down into the water before squeezing out the excess water, and gently dabbing over Delia’s large bruises and deep cuts. By the time Patsy had finished cleaning her up Delia was trembling almost in tears “Deels? What is it?”

“My mother did this to me. The reason I will forever be fearful of going out alone or sleeping alone is because of her. I… hate her. My sister was right, she warned me!” Delia moved around on the sofa so she was looking directly at Patsy “My sister warned me that my mother would put me away if she ever found out, that she would lock me away and throw away the key, she warned me many times Patsy!” Delia said with such a tremble to her voice.

“This is all my fault-”

  
  


“How? How is this your fault?”

“If I hadn’t pursued you-”

“Oh Pats...no, I loved you from the day we first met. The only one who is at fault here is my mother, I want her dead Patsy, for what happened to me because of her. I will never forgive her for this.”

“Don’t worry, my love, she will pay for what she has done.”

  
  


**15 Months ago - July 24th 1959**

  
  
  


“Where is she? Where is she, you cow!” Patsy went storming into Callwen Busby’s home.

  
  


“Where’s who?” Callwen spoke, not even looking up as she sipped her tea.

  
  


“Don’t play the fool! Your daughter -” Patsy had enough, she launched herself at Callwen wrapping her hands around her throat tight enough to take the air out of her but not enough to kill her, after all Patsy needed her alive if she was to find Delia.

  
  


Mrs. Busby tried to scream, as her tea cup and saucer fell to the floor with a crack and a splash of the liquid.

Patsy removed her grip slowly as she backed away and let Callwen recover, slightly “If I could kill you I would, but…”

  
  


“But what? You’re suddenly virtuous?”

  
  


Patsy laughed coldly “Virtuous? Me, no, as you have said I have no morals, but one thing is.. I love your daughter more than life itself Mrs. Busby, but Delia would never forgive me if I hurt you, just as I will never forgive you if there is one hair on her body that is hurt. Now where is she?!”

  
  


“I’ll never tell you.” Callwen Busby was taking great pleasure in the fact she had information about her daughter that Patsy didn’t know, something which she was about to regret, because Patsy was pushed to the edge of her desperation and anger, and she grabbed Callwen throwing her against the wall “TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK SHE IS!”

“Saint….Jos...Saint Joseph’s” Callwen managed to choke out before Patsy let go and fell against the wall herself.

  
  


“Mrs. Busby, do you have any idea what you’ve done?” Patsy knew what they did in those places, to the girls and she couldn’t bear it so how could any mother feel it was okay.

  
  


“I did what was best.”

“What was best?” Patsy chuckled as she stood up “For who? You and your shame. Or for Delia who is nothing but proud of who she is. If I manage to miraculously free her from that place-”

“It’s a christian camp-”

  
  


“NO! Don’t you dare insult me or yourself by using God as an excuse to hide behind, now if you’ll excuse me I need to go and save your daughter. You’ve already lost one, if you stop me, you’ll most likely use the other, no parent should outlive their children Mrs. Busby.”

Callwen Busby nodded, although she had been heartless and cruel and wouldn’t help Patsy to help her daughter she wasn’t going to stand in her way either.

Patsy quickly walked from the house, walking her way back up to Nonnatus in a heavy and fast stride. When Patsy arrived she was trying to keep her temper buried, until she heard the bells for compline, and watched as the Nuns all hurried off to worship their god, a God who was Patsy’s worst enemy at this point.

Patsy was standing next to the table of which they all eat at, trying to hold it together but she couldn’t, she launched herself at the table throwing everything off as she screamed. 

Valerie Dyer, who was now a midwife and living at Nonnatus and sharing a room with Patys came running down “Patsy? What- oh god what’s happened?”

  
  


Patsy screamed through a heart wrenching cry at Valerie “I’VE BEEN LEFT WITH NOTHING!”

  
  


“Patsy come on…” Valerie walked round slowly, wrapping her arm around Patsy holding her up, as she saw Sister Julienne running towards them both.

  
  


“Oh, my dear what’s happened?”

  
  


“I’m not quite sure sister, would you sort out Patsy arm, while I clean up here?”

In Patsy’s anger of throwing everything from the table, she had cut her arm open, on some of the smashed china.

“Come my dear, let's clean you up and you can tell me what’s happened?” Sister Julienne smiled, as she sat Patsy down on a stall in the clinical room and began cleaning up her arm.

“I’m sorry sister Julienne, I’ll pay for new china.”

“Patsy, I don’t care about China, I’m more concerned with you right now. Your scream was deafening. What's going on?”

“Sister, have you heard about a christian camp for girls called ‘St. Josephs.”

“Yes, I have, that is not a good place to be-”

“Why not, Sister?”

“Patsy, why are you asking such things, you don’t need to know what goes on there.” Sister Julienne felt she was being reassuring but little did she know Patsy needed to know.

“Sister..” Patsy grabbed sister Julienne’s arm gently “I beg of you, I need to know -” Patsy paused, frowning, thinking hard about what she could say to explain, but she couldn’t straight out lie to Sister Julienne, she had to be truthful with her “- Delia’s there, her mother sent her there.. Because of her friendship with me.”

Sister Julienne stayed silent for a few moments before answering as she bandaged up Patsy’s arm “I will help you free her from that place in any way that I can Patsy, but you need to understand something, she will not be the same person when she comes away, whether she’s been there for a day, a week, a month or even a year. It’s a place of torment, a place that should not be allowed to continue… Patsy you need to get her out sooner rather than later.”

  
  


“You’ll really help me? You - what they stand for-”

  
  


“Yes.” Sister Julienne cut her off “It’s a place that uses the name of God to hide behind and unleash another kind of hell on those poor girls. I have never supported what they do.”

  
  


“And I’ll help you too.” Valerie said as she walked through with a cup of tea for all three of them.

  
  


“No Valerie, I can’t ask you to do such a thing.” Patsy replied quickly.

  
  


“You’re not - I’m offering.”

  
  
  


Patsy knew she wouldn’t be able to swade either of them otherwise, so that night Valerie and Patsy dug up all the information they could find on St. Joseph’s, but they both knew the only real way to get any information was to go to the meeting with the other girls, they were the ones who had been inside places like St. Joseph’s and survived.

  
  


The next day they did just that walking arm in arm along the cobbled streets of Poplar. “I’m never going to get her back am I?”

“Of course you will Patsy, have hope, we will find her. Let’s go to this meeting and talk to Hilda and everyone and find out what we can about St. Joseph’s”

  
  
  


People were already chatting and sat down in the cafe eating cake and drinking tea when Valerie and Patsy walked in through the door, being greeted by Hilda with a warming smile “No Delia today girls?”

Patsy squeezed onto Valerie’s arm, even the mention of her girlfriend’s anime made her tremble and her knees almost buckle “It’s okay Patsy…” Valerie led Patsy over to her seat before going back to Hilda and taking her to one side.

  
  


“Child whatever is the matter? Did the break up?” Hilda frowned.

“Far from it…” Valerie began, Delia’s mother found out about her and Patsy, and her mother has put her in St. Joseph’s.. Patsy wants to find out everything she can about St. Joseph’s, she’s determined to free her and I will help. Please Hilda we need your help.”

Hilda paused, turning round to the counter top and pouring out two mugs of tea, making sure they were both well sugared, and turning back to Delia passing her the tea “I will help you, we will help Patsy but this conversation is going to be a hard one are you sure she’s up for it?”

“I can only hope.” Valerie smiled walking over and sitting next to Patsy passing her, her tea “Here, drink up. It’s well sugared.”

  
  


Hilda suddenly clapped with a loud echo going through the room “Come ladies, please all sit down. Today we have a specific agender, we have something serious and of great urgency to speak about. 

  
  


Hilda went and sat down, the rest of the women who were still standing were now all seated.

  
  


“Now this is a very sensitive topic and I would like everyone to be gentle in your words and if you do not wish to speak or be a part of this meeting then I will understand.”

  
  


“What are we talking about today Hilda?” An older lady asked. 

“St. Josephs.” Hida stated and almost every teaspoon hit the saucers under the teacups of every woman in that room.

“Why on earth do we need to be speaking about that god awful place, I was there for 2 years and that was enough.”

“Well Bernadette, because we all know Delia Busby, her mother found out about her and Patsy and she is in St. Josephs. Valerie and Patsy are here today and the need to know everything about that place if they are to get her out.”

  
  


“Get her out? Patsy that is no small task.”

“I know, but I love her, and she would do the same for me in a heartbeat, please I beg of you to tell me everything you know about St. Joseph’s, and about what Delia could be going through, I need to know.”

“Linda, maybe you would like to start us off?” Hilda asked.

  
  


Linda nodded her head “I was only in St. Josephs for 6 months but that was enough to damage my soul-”

“Your soul?!” Patsy blurted out “Sorry, do continue.”

“Yes my soul, Patsy, six months was too long to be in a place like that.”

“But why Linda? Please I need to know -”

  
  


“- my mother found me in bed with Lucy and she made a call as soon as she could, that night she took me to St. Joseph's and dropped me off without a word of what I was doing there but I soon found out the reasoning.” Linda took a breath. She never thought she’d have to revisit what happened, but she cared for Patsy and Delia and she would do what she could to help them.

  
  


Hilda was also listening intently for Linda had never divulged the exact details of what happened to her but Hilda along with everyone else was about to hear those exact details.

  
  


“I was taken in a side room with a priest who said a blessing to help save me from my sin, I laughed when he did it, which was my first lesson don’t laugh at the person who is trying to save your soul. He hit me across the face.” Linda took a small sip of her tea before continuing “I was then given these white 18th century looking clothes and I was told to strip into my underwear so they could inspect me for the devil's hand. After this long and grueling inspection I was told to change into the clothing they had provided and to wait outside the room.”

  
  


“Maybe we should take a five minute break?” Hilda frowned, she could still that it was distressing for Linda reliving it.

“No, just give me a moment, I can do this.” Linda took another sip of tea before continuing “I went into a room with 11 other girls, we were all as scared as each other, we were preached to by four different fucking Priests. Using the bible to tell us how wrong and disgusting and that we will burn in hell unless we admit to our sins.”

  
  


“Oh my god-” Patsy was trying not to let it get to her but Delia was in there, she had to listen to understand. She just had to.

  
  


“Then if we refused to accept that we were sinners, and more importantly if we were in there because we’d been caught in the arms of another women, they would tell us we need to see what real sex is, the sex that God wanted for us… you guessed it, two of them would hold me - any of us down while the other -” Linda stood up quickly turning her back on the group “while the other forced himself on us.”

Linda slowly turned back and that wasn’t even the worst of it, I came away with so many bruises and marks and even a few broken bones because I fought back. I escaped with my life, after I managed to cut one of them across the face because he wanted me to obey him, and wanted me to admit who I was, that I was wrong - he caught me with another girl at St. Josephs, I mean what did they expect? Put a load of girls together in one place who all like the same, did they really think that it wouldn’t happen!”

  
  


For the next half an hour Linda continued to talk about the torture and the obseine acts she injured during her time there, and she spoke about the details of her escape too.

The hour after that, three other girls spoke about their time their, some had been locked away for only a couple of months others a couple of years, each persons details of what they had gone through was awful and there were no words to give comfort, but one thing was for sure nearly all of them agreed to help free Delia from that wretched place. Only three admitted they couldn’t in fear of their own lives which was understandable.

  
  
  


**October 18th 1959**

  
  


“This is useless!” Patsy shouted, throwing the papers across the bedroom where she was sat on the floor with Valerie and Lucille Anderson - a new midwife who had joined them only six weeks prior, but agreed to help in every way possible.

“Patsy stop, this isn’t your fault -”

“No, maybe not but two months! Valerie two months and absolutely nothing, we’ve not gained any information on how to get her out oh no, but the information we have gained is just about the torture she is going through on the inside of that god forsaken building. How can they? They use God as a means to reel people in why?-”

“-Because God is the easiest one to blame or to use against people.” Sister Julienne said as she walked in with three mugs of horlicks.

“Sister!” All three said at once jumping to their feet “Did we wake you?”

  
  


“No, I was already awake and I heard you three chatting and at 2am thought you may need a warming drink. - it’s a good thing none of you are on call tomorrow.”

They all smiled looking between one another, taking the warm cups of horlicks. Sister Julienne had been an absolute saint the last few months, making phone call after phone call after phone call to lawyers, priests, vicars and Sergeant Noakes too.

  
  


“Now why don’t you put these papers away, and get some sleep, we can’t help Delia if you’re all sleep deprived, now Lucille I am sorry but would you step in tomorrow and go down to Grundy street.” Sister Julienne smiled.

  
  


“Of course not a problem.” Lucille smiled, and decided to take her leave so she could get some sleep.

  
  


“Patsy and Valerie remember you’re both always welcome in the chapel-”

“I don’t mean to be rude, Sister, but I don’t believe in God, and as far as I am aware, nor does Patsy-”

“That is neither here nor there. Listen to me the greatest religion is to be true to your own nature. Have faith in yourselves.” Sister Julienne smiled before she left the room and left Patsy and Delia to their thoughts.

Over the next few months they searched and searched for ways to get Delia out of St Joseph’s safely and in the end they found only two ways to be able to free her, and it might not be safe.

  
  
  


**April 14th 1960**

  
  


“Valerie it’s been nine months snce Delia was taken away, and we only have these two options. Is there really no other way?” Patsy frowned, as they sat at the table eating their breakfast, everyone else was out on their rounds, other than Sister Francis who was next on call and of course Sister Julienne who was in her office.

  
  


“I’m afraid not.”

  
  


“I do not want to go to Mrs. Busby until I have t-”

  
  


“-but Patsy don’t you see?”

  
  


“See? See what?” Patsy frowned just as Sister Julienne walked in. Sister Julienne had sat with them when they had worked out the only two options that they realistically had.

  
  


“The fact is you will have to attempt to speak to Mrs. Busby before we go up and visit St. Joseph’s, comprende?” Sister Julienne spoke softly as she sat down pouring out a cup of tea for herself. 

  
  


“I can’t - at least not alone.”

Sister Julienne and Valerie looked between one another in confusion.

“Why is that?” Valerie asked her friend, with a worrisome frown.

  
  


“Well, last time I went to see her, it was just after Delia was taken away and put in that wretched place and I didn’t know where she was. I went to her mother, and when Callwen refused to tell me where she was, I maybe, kind of, actually attacked her.”

  
  


“You attacked her? Patsy -”

  
  


“I know, I know it doesn’t help anyone, but Valerie I was angry! Still am, that is why when I go to see her this time around, you need to come with me, for if I went alone, I fear I would do something much worse than before.”

  
  


Valerie gave a nod to Sister Julienne to leave the both of them alone, they both felt that Patsy was avoiding saying what she actually did because Sister Julienne was in the room.

  
  


Sister Julienne left the room without question.

  
  


“Right Patsy, she’s gone, tell me what happened? What really happened?” Valerie insisted.

“It’s as I said I attacked her, but my anger overtook me, and well I asked her, but she wouldn’t tell me where she was so I suddenly found myself with my hands around her throat, then I backed away but Valerie she began jibing me and in the next moment I found myself throwing her against the wall with my hands around her throat again. I wanted to kill her, and I knew in that moment that if I wanted to I could but then I knew Delia would never forgive me and I would never forgive myself, I would never be able to live with myself if I had done any damage.”

  
  


Valerie listened, taking it all in, nodding her head in the right places as Patsy went into detail of everything that had caused her to attack Callwen Busby

“Oh Patsy, you can’t just go around almost killing people, that’s not who you are or who you want to be-”

“I don’t go around doing it Valerie! It’s not a new hobby of mine that I have picked up and wanted to start doing. I’m not a lesbian Jack the ripper.”

“That’s not what I-” Valerie sighed, she just wanted Patsy to see that losing her temper with Mrs Busby, wouldn’t help anyone in the long run and it certainly wouldn’t help them to free Delia from St. Joseph’s.

They were meant to go and see Mrs. Busby the next day but Patsy fell ill very suddenly and over the next four months, she was incredibly sick, and it took Dr. Turner a while to diagnose her, because at first she barely had any symptoms, it was only when her symptoms became clearer the Dt. Turner knew exactly what was wrong.


End file.
